Bridges are interesting structures. At first glance, you see an incredible structure, but all you’re seeing is what’s on the surface. There’s a lot going on underground that is unseen. There’s a foundation that goes deep, all depending on the size of the bridge. Some go very deep, and some are more shallow. I’m not here to talk about how you build an actual bridge but to talk about building bridges between people. Some of the concepts are the same. To build a bridge, you go piece by piece. Starting at the bottom with foundational pieces and building your way on up to the place you walk or drive on.
In a relationship, bridge building can be very difficult. You’re not only dealing with your feelings but you’re dealing with the feelings of someone else who may or may not be interested in building any bridges with you. Here too, we have to start with foundational pieces. I have one relationship where I’ve had to go from great conversations back to just a quick hello or a short text letting the person know I’m thinking about them. Kind of like starting a new friendship.
It’s painful and sometimes very difficult to keep my own self in a good place, but so important! These tiny steps I start in aren’t my idea. I’m annoyed and disappointed and just want things to be right, but that doesn’t seem to be the way it is … like I said, sometimes we’re dealing with another person’s feelings and not just our own. So, for me, I start out by listening to God. I ask Him for help and direction. Not by some big long prayer, but just simply asking.
And then I trust in what I hear. (hearing from God can just be a feeling we have) One thing that I have to do in bridge building is to make the choice to not let my actions be determined by the response or lack of response from the other party. My actions have to be based on what I hear from God. So I continue on in these bridge building activities, without being a pest and I wait.
You might be asking why bridge building is even necessary. In this busy world where there are so many relationships we are involved in, why would you even want to take time to work on this one? Maybe this one isn’t really a special relationship. Maybe you’re just too busy to care.
Can you imagine if the bridges we drive and walk over broke and never got repaired? We would always be running into roadblocks as we try getting to the places we’re wanting to get to. We’d always be having to turn around and take another route.
The same thing holds true for relationships. If we don’t ever mend the bridges that have been broken we find ourselves having to rethink things like which route I might take to the store, or which store we’ll go to, or what if I go to church today and they are there or what if I go to the birthday party or the barbecue and they were invited too.
I don’t know about you, but I want good relationships. I don’t want broken bridges hindering the paths I take. I want to build bridges where they need to be built.
Do you have any bridges to build?